Catch me if you can
The news is awash with the launch of the government's Child Exploitation & Online Protection (CEOP) Centre, its latest rubber cosh with which to thwack the unhealthy tumescence of maladaptive internet perverts. Sly-winking supremo, Jim "lath me with unguents" Gamble, is cock of the walk, helming a 24hr team of police officers who will perpetually lurk in chatrooms and the like to monitor and collect paedophiles.It's difficult to find solid estimates of how much this "bringing together [of] law enforcement officers [and] specialists from children's charities and industry" will cost, but it doesn't seem unfair to assume it won't be cheap. Perhaps what's needed is a little 'outside the (prepubescent) box' thinking...
Our stately internet is full of legal, consenting adults indulging in a variety of frotting, gurgling, pants-down activities which, unless you're a Southern US state, is perfectly reasonable. One of the problems such individuals face is finding meatspace partners to act out their online fantasies. I suggest a grand database of fetishists be constructed, based on Microsoft software running on AOL's hardware resources and leveraging VISA's age-checking facilities (all three being CEOP partners), pairing up the compatible who would pay for such a service by volunteering a chunk of their time to monitor & report child-grooming minxes online. The "charge" would be determined by ease of pairing and uniqueness of proclivity; research estimates that 24% of men and 36% of women have had a rape fantasy, either perpetrating or experiencing, and it seems reasonable to assume that some of these would gladly exchange time for opportunity.
If it works then I fully expect a peerage.
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